Sunday, July 23, 2006

God I don't understand, but I'll trust you anyway.

We had a VERY busy weekend. To say that my kids are "trashed" would be an understatement. By the time Saturday rolled around (yeah - this was the mid-point of our started on Thursday) we were hoping our children would sleep in because we didn't get home until 11:30 p.m. on Friday. Of course, sleeping in at our house is 8 a.m. My children woke up tired.

Unfortunately, my daughter responds to sleep deprivation much like her mother. She was an emotional, teary eyed mess. By 11 a.m. I realized she was going to need a nap if she wanted to go to her friends birthday party that afternoon. When I told her she needed a nap she..., well, she snapped. She couldn't stop crying, and screaming and was not capable of reasoning or listening to me. It was a frustrating moment.

She kept saying, "I don't need a nap, I'm not tired. I just don't understand." And, I kept saying, "Hon, your body is tired. You're not making good choices. I know you think you aren't tired but you need to trust me. I'm your mom." Well - that was the gist of it - it was way more dramatic.

So, after she sobbed herself to sleep and got some rest. I thought and prayed. I pondered the conversation I would have with her. On the way to the party we talked.

"Hon, I know sometimes it doesn't make sense when I ask you to do certain things, like taking a nap. But, you need to trust me. You need to trust God, that he gave you me as a mother to guide you. Sometimes I do know what you need even though it doesn't make sense to you or even if you don't like it. You just need to trust me."

My heart is heavy. It has been all weekend. So many people are hurting right now. Addie posted a heartfelt summary of some of our fellow bloggers who are sharing their journey of their struggles. In conversations this weekend, I've seen and heard some of the struggles that some of my real life (for lack of a better term) friends are having. Ones who want children can't have them, those who don't want them (and probably shouldn't)...have triplets. Why?

As I was speaking with one of my friends regarding a particular situation, we pondered, Why would God allow this struggle for this person? It just didn't make sense.

Today, I'm tired. We've had a busy weekend stuffed with physical and emotional challenges. It was an awesome weekend, but exhausting. I'm reacting much the same way my daughter was on Saturday morning. I'm crying to God questioning the trials that are upon my friends, I'm hurting for my friends, I'm fearing because of what could come next.

I feel God telling me to get some rest. I think I even heard him say, "You need to trust me. You need to trust that I am your God and I will guide you. Sometimes I do know what you need even though it doesn't make sense to you or even if you don't like it. You just need to trust me."

Matthew 11:28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (NKJV)

Psalm 56:3 Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. 4 In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me? (NKJV)

Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears. 5 They looked to Him and were radiant, And their faces were not ashamed. 6 This poor man cried out, and the LORD heard him, And saved him out of all his troubles. 7 The angel of the LORD encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers them. 8 Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him! 9 Oh, fear the LORD, you His saints! There is no want to those who fear Him.(NKJV)

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. (NKJV)

Name: Rebekah
Home: Kansas, United States
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