Okay, so I've been working on a post...a long post...about what God has been doing in my heart this past month and some of the struggles I've faced and how I've tried to work through them (which is why I haven't been posting much). But, well, did I mention it was long? Yeah, long and a bit boring to be honest. So, to spare you the long agonizingly boring details I'm trying to pare it down. Okay, so you see where I'm going with my whole realization thing? Yeah, this was just one. I'll spare you the rest...they're a bit more gory and a bit more boring. Love ya, girl! ***mmmwua*** 543,976 times Okay, not really, but it did feet like it and I did try to cram it in as many places as I could. heh.
So, here's the scoop. I've struggled. I've been put through the fire. I'd like to think that I've come out a bit wiser.
There are about 5 or 6 major realizations I've come to while I've been away from bloggityville, most of which probably won't mean much too many. But there is one that I would like to share because, well, I guess I just feel like I should.
My sweet, dear friend Addie posted a WFMW tip the other day and I bet she had no clue what an "Aha" moment she would create for me.
This is where I'd say, "Head over and read her post" but I don't think there is anyone who doesn't subscribe to her RSS feed, so, I'm moving along....to recap that is.
She made mention of my OCDish tendencies. That's it. That was all it took for me to have my moment...the heavens opened, the light shown down, and I swear I heard angles' voices belting "AAAAAhhhh" in the background as my mind raced.
And this is what went through my mind...That's it! I am completely neurotic! (really...I thought that with excitement) I love a tidy home I love a well organized home I love a clean home I love being organized but ever since being a mom I haven't been able to feed these wacky OCDish tendencies because of these little bundles of craziness I call my children all these years I've been kicking my self in the *^&%@ because I've totally not been able to do any of these things and I just told myself I was worthless because I couldn't do any of these (completely unnecessary, but completely okay for me to want to do because I have OCDish tendencies) but I need to realize that being a mom to young children just doesn't facilitate that kind of organization (unless you're a stepford wife, of course)
Yes, that is how my mind works...one long continuous thought which really doesn't make much sense to most people. Scary, huh?
Prepare, because here comes the second thought...Oh my poor children! I get so frustrated with them when I'm trying to accommodate these OCDish tendencies by creating yet another chart or another list or clean (I use that term loosely) or whatever and they come and interrupt me but really I invited them into this life of mine and they are just being kids which is nothing to get frustrated at and I should just chill out and enjoy the interruptions because they wont last for much longer and then I'll be wishing I had more interruptions from them I just need to set aside these OCDish tendensies for a few years the kids don't care if the laundry is or isn't done (okay, so my husband does, because no one likes to have to wear dirty underwear but that's not the point here) or if the lamp is dusted they care about being with mom and enjoying her
So, Ad, thanks for "encouraging" me. It works for me too!
FOR THE RECORD If you lost count of the total number of times "OCDish tendencies" was written (including this one in the record) is...drum roll...
8 Comments:
Whoo! Whoo! I gave you an aha moment! Well don't I get the gold star for the week. :D
So glad it helped you to lighten up on yourself too! Just think, pretty soon we'll have really clean houses and a we'll dust our kids pictures off and *sigh*.
(and then we'll go sit on the couch in our nice, clean, QUIET house, grab the bon bons and turn on Oprah!) :D
By
Addie, at 12:21 AM
I remember sitting in a shrink's office (yeah, I'm crazy, so what? This is news?) before I had kids and one of the things she said to me was that I was going to have to learn to live with some chaos if I ever planned to have kids.
I look at my life now and compare it to then. I have really had to let some things go. :D
Glad to hear you had the epiphany. Cut yourself some slack, Girl. You deserve it.
By
Chilihead2, at 9:13 AM
Although, I have to say that while I was shopping yesterday I was thinking I was going to implement your school lunch menu...
By
Chilihead2, at 9:14 AM
Addie, You have the gold star and I'm stalking up on bon bons immediately.
Chili, I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this phycotic journey. So, does your shrink recommend anyone in KC?
By
Rebekah, at 11:11 AM
Hi Rebekah! First I gotta say I love your Blog! Its on my favorites! After reading this post I realized Im the same way! I need to enjoy my time with my kids NOW not LATER! So not only did Addie show you the light, you have shown me the light!THANKS~Amy
By
Anonymous, at 10:00 PM
Addie hit the nail right on the head in her comment. The day WILL come, and way way too soon, when you'll have all the time in the world to dust those lamps and have your life in perfect order.
Not many people more OCD about their home than I am. But looking back, I prefer the chaos. My house is the way I always thought I wanted it to be. But I never thought it could be so quiet.
By
Barb, at 11:55 AM
Thats cool! And I am happy to see you in blogityville again!
BTW I loved what Barb had to say. "But I never thought it could be so quiet."
By
Pfingston, at 1:05 PM
Bek, I've missed reading your awesome blog...glad you're back....and with such an awesome post. It really hit home with me because I think I share these same types of "freak OCDish tendencies". Good for you to see it for what it is.
Barb is right......"one day we'll have all the time in the world to dust those lamps". I have such a hard time having a home in disaray...but gradually over time I've learned to let more and more things go.....and not get so upset at the kids...for being kids!!!!
Thanks so much for sharing. :))))
By
Anonymous, at 5:14 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home