Okay, so I've been working on a post...a long post...about what God has been doing in my heart this past month and some of the struggles I've faced and how I've tried to work through them (which is why I haven't been posting much). But, well, did I mention it was long? Yeah, long and a bit boring to be honest. So, to spare you the long agonizingly boring details I'm trying to pare it down.
So, here's the scoop. I've struggled. I've been put through the fire. I'd like to think that I've come out a bit wiser.
There are about 5 or 6 major realizations I've come to while I've been away from bloggityville, most of which probably won't mean much too many. But there is one that I would like to share because, well, I guess I just feel like I should.
My sweet, dear friend Addie posted a WFMW tip the other day and I bet she had no clue what an "Aha" moment she would create for me.
This is where I'd say, "Head over and read her post" but I don't think there is anyone who doesn't subscribe to her RSS feed, so, I'm moving along....to recap that is.
She made mention of my OCDish tendencies. That's it. That was all it took for me to have my moment...the heavens opened, the light shown down, and I swear I heard angles' voices belting "AAAAAhhhh" in the background as my mind raced.
And this is what went through my mind...
That's it! I am completely neurotic! (really...I thought that with excitement) I love a tidy home I love a well organized home I love a clean home I love being organized but ever since being a mom I haven't been able to feed these wacky OCDish tendencies because of these little bundles of craziness I call my children all these years I've been kicking my self in the *^&%@ because I've totally not been able to do any of these things and I just told myself I was worthless because I couldn't do any of these (completely unnecessary, but completely okay for me to want to do because I have OCDish tendencies) but I need to realize that being a mom to young children just doesn't facilitate that kind of organization (unless you're a stepford wife, of course)
Yes, that is how my mind works...one long continuous thought which really doesn't make much sense to most people. Scary, huh?
Prepare, because here comes the second thought...
Oh my poor children! I get so frustrated with them when I'm trying to accommodate these OCDish tendencies by creating yet another chart or another list or clean (I use that term loosely) or whatever and they come and interrupt me but really I invited them into this life of mine and they are just being kids which is nothing to get frustrated at and I should just chill out and enjoy the interruptions because they wont last for much longer and then I'll be wishing I had more interruptions from them I just need to set aside these OCDish tendensies for a few years the kids don't care if the laundry is or isn't done (okay, so my husband does, because no one likes to have to wear dirty underwear but that's not the point here) or if the lamp is dusted they care about being with mom and enjoying her
Okay, so you see where I'm going with my whole realization thing? Yeah, this was just one. I'll spare you the rest...they're a bit more gory and a bit more boring.
So, Ad, thanks for "encouraging" me. It works for me too!
Love ya, girl! ***mmmwua***
FOR THE RECORD If you lost count of the total number of times "OCDish tendencies" was written (including this one in the record) is...drum roll...
Okay, not really, but it did feet like it and I did try to cram it in as many places as I could. heh.