Monday, June 19, 2006

Captivating - Chapter One

It has been a blast to read all of the input of you wonderful women that are doing this study! I can't thank God enough for the opportunity to experience this with you.
This chapter was very good for me. I first read this book last summer when it was first published so I've had a while to marinate my thoughts from this book. I do remember, however, having a great feeling of weight lifted when I began reading the book initially. And still the part that stood out the most for me in this chapter is the part where Staci mentions, "I am not enough, and I am too much at the same time."  All my life I've thought of myself as pretty average. I'm not tall but I'm not short. I'm not thin but I'm not fat. I'm not ugly but I'm not beautiful. I'm average, just plain. I have always felt And in feeling that I felt guilty for not appreciating what God had given me, and in not feeling appreciative, I felt sinful. Do you see where this is going? A constant cycle of ups and downs.  But in reading this I see that is how Satan loves to attack me and pull me down. As soon as my focus is on pitiful little me, I sink. Our adversary knows that, boy is he ever good at this game.
You know that old saying, "go for the jugular"? Well, Satan goes straight for the heart. Staci quotes Prov. 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life" and follows it by saying that our heart is core to who we are. And who am I? just who God made me. I am a reflection of Him! I carry the beauty of God in me! I may not be like somebody else, but that is okay - because each of us are a reflection of God. And in each of us we can see a glimpse of God, a different side of Him in each of us, a different part of His beauty in each of us.
I've never been "Suzy Homemaker" and I never will be. I wish I was, but I'm not. And that is okay. I may not reflect the beauty of God's cleanliness...hahaha. But knowing what my hearts desires are I know I reflect the beauty of God's adventurous side. I think in who I am I reflect the beauty of God's caring for others.
I'm on a journey to discover my heart. I pray this book will help me discover what are the deepest desires of my heart and in that discovery I will find the truest reflection of God in me. And I am ready.

Name: Rebekah
Home: Kansas, United States
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